12/18 -- If I'm being honest, the only real thing holding me back was the fear of surviving. It would only complicate everything.

13/18 -- I have a friend that attempted twice in March. Sometimes I still see her wounds behind my eyelids. (her arms show long, deep cuts past the elbows, flowers growing from her veins) I feel like she's got it so much worse than me, but she tells me I shouldn't compare, ever.

14/18 -- She says life will never give me a problem I can't handle. And if I come across a problem again and again, then there is a lesson I'm not learning. If I keep coming to the edge again and again, there's something I've yet to learn...

15/18 -- I have known this whole time that I've got to learn how to love myself. I just don't know how.

16/18 -- But I hope that with the help of my loved ones... Maybe I can learn to love me how they do. (froyo, clothes shopping, reading in the car, spam musubi)